Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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