My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Terrible idea I love it
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
