He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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