Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize