so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
