Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she looked like the before picture.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
