pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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