are you so shy because you have an std?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
