I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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