Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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