New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
