She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
