is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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