there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
