dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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