I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
