So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
is wine microwaveable?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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