dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Enjoy the penises
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
