i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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