waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
