How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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