PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
