At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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