It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so let's talk penis.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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