Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
