I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
