We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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