the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
