I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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