This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
