Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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