let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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