when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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