they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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