he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
