dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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