Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
