how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
