So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
