ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
