You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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