You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
