i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
