Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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