its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize