So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize