Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Found the puke drawer
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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