Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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