was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
