you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
