im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
