Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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