i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
