Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize