and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
