what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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