I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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