oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
