He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
