My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
