Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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