Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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