Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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