discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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