Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
one might say we're banned from that church
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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