barbara walters just said penis...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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