i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I touched a dick in church today
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Come on in and take your pants off
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