Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
