my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
