How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
