Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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