I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
this is an emotional support booty call
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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