so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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