FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
