DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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