doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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